Friday: Got up at 9am and Taylor came over because swim practice had just gotten out. Then, we went to Target as we were waiting for Sam to get out of class. Sam got out and met us back at my house and we left to pick up Jonathan then went to Arden to buy Taylor some clothes and I also got some flower headbands because I’m a hippie hipster. Then I met Nate at the school at 1pm to work on our Econ homework. We did our homework and talked about Coachella and then we left at 230pm because he had to be at work by 3pm-he was late (oops). Then I went to Bailey’s house and we went to Under the Big Top. We were thoroughly disappointed. Then I think I went home and slept.
Saturday: I packed for Santa Cruz and left at 2pm. I arrived in Santa Cruz at 430pm and Imelda and I walked to go get Mexican food. We ate the food in the park without chips or utensils. Then we walked around downtown Santa Cruz for a strangely long time. Later we went to her friend’s dorm because Imelda’s apartment was packed with her roommate’s family. But, Imelda forgot to get the code to unlock the door so we ended up sitting in the lounge and watched Frozen. We finally got the code and watched SNL as we fell asleep.
Sunday: We woke up around 9am and went back to Imelda’s apartment to change before going to Betty’s to eat nachos and sandwiches. Then we walked through an antique fair and didn’t buy a single thing. Later, we drove to San Jose and walked around the mall for a few hours and had weird frozen yogurt before going to In N Out to eat animal fries. Then we came back and stopped at Imelda’s apartment to grab her sandals before heading to Trader Joe’s to get food for our beach adventure. Then we serenaded people at the beach as we watched the sunset together because we’re adorable. But we only stayed for about 45 minutes because I was about to pee my pants. So, we stopped back at her apartment before going to Saturn’s and eating nachos and milkshakes. On our way back from Saturn’s, we stopped at some cliff and stared off into the vast ocean
that is our universe and lives… Then we went back to her apartment and fell asleep on a futon.
Monday: We woke up at 7am and I left at 730 to head back to my semi real life. I got home around 1030 and drove Gabe to swim practice and Nate came over at 11am to work on his Woody flag for Coachella. I ended up kicking him out at 230pm instead of 330 because I can’t read clocks without numbers but it ended up being better because I could eat and I wasn’t in a hurry. Then, I had a chiropractor appointment at 4pm and afterwards I went to Bailey’s house to chill and we went somewhere but I just don’t remember where…maybe Arden…no clue. Then I came home and slept.
Tuesday: I had a sport’s medicine appointment at 1030am which lasted all of 10 minutes so I texted Nate and he said he was going to come over after the gym so I picked Gabe up and we went to swim practice. Nate ended up beating us home so I have no idea how long he was waiting for us but then we finished up most of his flag and I kicked him out around 215 so I could make it to my physical therapy appointment by 245pm. I had probably the hardest appointment that I’ve had but my therapist did say that I’m done with physical therapy because he thinks I’m getting a lot better! Then Bailey came over and we went to Natomas to get free Starbucks from Nate and we stopped at Chipotle as well. Then I dropped Bailey off before heading off to Tyran’s house. Tyran and I went downtown and walked around for a bit before sitting and talking about life for an hour in Cesar Chavez park. We stayed there until about 9 and went back to his house and kept talking about life and nonsense before I realized it was 11pm and I realized I should probably go home.
Wednesday: I didn’t do anything other than go to swim practice and some burger place. I pretty much just packed all day because…
Thursday-Saturday: I woke up at 6am and met at the school at 645 to leave for swim champs. I drove my brother, Dasha, and I to the pool in Stockton. I timed with Dasha, Ricardo, Sam, and Taylor throughout the weekend. I roomed with Dasha. Bryce apologized to me and told me he hated ignoring me. Dasha and I talked about the whole Taylor-Kayla situation that has been happening. Then the last night, most of us from the team went out to Olive Garden and had family dinner. Then I drove my brother, Dasha, Haley, and I back home and got back around 11pm.
Sunday: I got up at 7am and took a shower then started helping my mom cook and put food together for Easter then we headed off to my Grandma’s at 9 and went to Church. After church, we headed back to my Grandma’s house and where we met up with the rest of the family. We had family time and did one of those picture remake things where all the cousins got into the same pose as an old picture we have but I have yet to see the outcome of it. Then, we got home around 630pm and I ate some more and went to bed because this was probably the busiest spring break I’ve ever had and I loved every minute of it.
You’ve never like green eyes but his are the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen.
You were never specifically looking for someone taller than you, but now you cannot picture yourself with anyone shorter that 6 foot 2.
You never cared much for people who spoke random thoughts, but now everyone else is boring.
You never liked coffee, but now you drink it everyday.
Here, have a video of my internet self singing to you and if you like it, share it.
This is my favorite song to sing at the moment and I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Islands - young the giant - covered by Me (Terra / benpenguin )
am was afraid that I would screw things up between this new guy and I because I thought that I always screwed things up with everyone. But the thing is, I cannot think of anyone that I have screwed things up with. It’s always been the guy.
The first guy I ever really liked was just a tease and I really tried and he didn’t deserve me. He always had a girlfriend and just kept me on the backburner knowing I would wait until it was my turn.
The first boyfriend I had, I broke up with him. He was too clingy and when he tried asking me out a second time and I told him know, he called me a whore. That definitely wasn’t my fault.
The next guy, we talked for about a month and he ended up dropping everything that he had for me and went out with another girl within weeks of leaving me. That was his fault. He didn’t know what he wanted and he hurt me because of it.
The first guy in college that asked me out ended up wanting to go on a second date but he creeped me out so I said no. I chose.
The first guy I had a crush on in college ended up being a weirdo who was really into himself and I never had a chance with him anyways.
The next guy I had a crush on ended up asking for my number and still tries to get me to come over to his house and “hang out”. Obviously I didn’t screw up anything that I would have wanted.
The first guy I really kind of liked in college went out with my good friend and ended up being an asshole. Even if I did screw that up. I’m glad that didn’t work out.
The last guy I liked…well nothing ever happened. We still talk, but he now lives 2 hours away. We are just friends and I am fine with that.
I’ve never not been myself and I’ve never screwed anything up. I have not always had the final decision, but the right outcome was always made.
I’m a fucking catch.
There is this thing about me that if someone asks me to do something and it doesn’t absolutely appall me, I’ll do it. Anything from taking out the trash, to going on a date, to asking a weird question to a stranger, even to getting married. I have not had a boyfriend for about 4 years now, but there are a few guys that if they asked me to marry them or move in with them, and they would pay for most things - because that would be my big set back to most things - I would. I mean, the main boy that I would say yes to, I respect him a lot and could see myself with him in almost every way but we are not going out. I don’t even see him more than twice a month. But if he were to say that he was getting lonely and needed a roommate this summer and that he would still pay full rent if I would just come live with him for a bit, I would move in a second.
I don’t know if I just trust and like people too easily or if it’s just my urge to never want to be home, or if it’s just my need to explore and live a fun, exciting, changing life, but I am always up for anything.
So, if you are ever lonely, I’m here, in every way. If you ever need someone to go somewhere with you, I’m down. Or, if you know a guy who is wanting to ask me out but he is afraid because he thinks I’ll say know, tell him what’s up.
It’s not that I have low standards or anything, I just believe that everyone and everything deserves a fighting chance. Now, a second date, or staying moved in, that’s a whole other story.
Like an actual sister. Not my half sister. She died soon after she was born because my mom was not able to give her enough blood.
The same thing happened to my grandma with her first child.
Both babies are buried next to each other.
Sometimes I feel like I need to live beautifully and purposefully because they never got the chance to.
And sometimes I get really sad because I never got to meet them.
I rarely think about Haley but when I do, I don’t stop for a while and so many different feelings come into me.
But mainly the feeling that I am not good enough to live instead of her.
and it wasn’t even flowers, it was a flower. a single pink rose that he pulled out of his neighbor’s yard. I still have it. it’s dead and beautiful.
the reason I love it so much and why it’s okay that it’s the only flower I’ve ever been given by a boy is because
he gave it to me because it was a Thursday.
now, there is a story behind this. I had just recently told him that Thursdays are my favorite days because they are only a day further from the weekend than Fridays but there are rarely tests and it’s still a normal day but with so much weekend excitement. and this Thursday just happened to be extra special because I was giving my senior project presentation and I had my last big test the day before. and he remembered all of this. and he went and cut a rose for me. because it was a Thursday.