You’ve never like green eyes but his are the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen.
You were never specifically looking for someone taller than you, but now you cannot picture yourself with anyone shorter that 6 foot 2.
You never cared much for people who spoke random thoughts, but now everyone else is boring.
You never liked coffee, but now you drink it everyday.
Here, have a video of my internet self singing to you and if you like it, share it.
This is my favorite song to sing at the moment and I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Islands - young the giant - covered by Me (Terra / benpenguin )
am was afraid that I would screw things up between this new guy and I because I thought that I always screwed things up with everyone. But the thing is, I cannot think of anyone that I have screwed things up with. It’s always been the guy.
The first guy I ever really liked was just a tease and I really tried and he didn’t deserve me. He always had a girlfriend and just kept me on the backburner knowing I would wait until it was my turn.
The first boyfriend I had, I broke up with him. He was too clingy and when he tried asking me out a second time and I told him know, he called me a whore. That definitely wasn’t my fault.
The next guy, we talked for about a month and he ended up dropping everything that he had for me and went out with another girl within weeks of leaving me. That was his fault. He didn’t know what he wanted and he hurt me because of it.
The first guy in college that asked me out ended up wanting to go on a second date but he creeped me out so I said no. I chose.
The first guy I had a crush on in college ended up being a weirdo who was really into himself and I never had a chance with him anyways.
The next guy I had a crush on ended up asking for my number and still tries to get me to come over to his house and “hang out”. Obviously I didn’t screw up anything that I would have wanted.
The first guy I really kind of liked in college went out with my good friend and ended up being an asshole. Even if I did screw that up. I’m glad that didn’t work out.
The last guy I liked…well nothing ever happened. We still talk, but he now lives 2 hours away. We are just friends and I am fine with that.
I’ve never not been myself and I’ve never screwed anything up. I have not always had the final decision, but the right outcome was always made.
I’m a fucking catch.
There is this thing about me that if someone asks me to do something and it doesn’t absolutely appall me, I’ll do it. Anything from taking out the trash, to going on a date, to asking a weird question to a stranger, even to getting married. I have not had a boyfriend for about 4 years now, but there are a few guys that if they asked me to marry them or move in with them, and they would pay for most things - because that would be my big set back to most things - I would. I mean, the main boy that I would say yes to, I respect him a lot and could see myself with him in almost every way but we are not going out. I don’t even see him more than twice a month. But if he were to say that he was getting lonely and needed a roommate this summer and that he would still pay full rent if I would just come live with him for a bit, I would move in a second.
I don’t know if I just trust and like people too easily or if it’s just my urge to never want to be home, or if it’s just my need to explore and live a fun, exciting, changing life, but I am always up for anything.
So, if you are ever lonely, I’m here, in every way. If you ever need someone to go somewhere with you, I’m down. Or, if you know a guy who is wanting to ask me out but he is afraid because he thinks I’ll say know, tell him what’s up.
It’s not that I have low standards or anything, I just believe that everyone and everything deserves a fighting chance. Now, a second date, or staying moved in, that’s a whole other story.
Like an actual sister. Not my half sister. She died soon after she was born because my mom was not able to give her enough blood.
The same thing happened to my grandma with her first child.
Both babies are buried next to each other.
Sometimes I feel like I need to live beautifully and purposefully because they never got the chance to.
And sometimes I get really sad because I never got to meet them.
I rarely think about Haley but when I do, I don’t stop for a while and so many different feelings come into me.
But mainly the feeling that I am not good enough to live instead of her.
and it wasn’t even flowers, it was a flower. a single pink rose that he pulled out of his neighbor’s yard. I still have it. it’s dead and beautiful.
the reason I love it so much and why it’s okay that it’s the only flower I’ve ever been given by a boy is because
he gave it to me because it was a Thursday.
now, there is a story behind this. I had just recently told him that Thursdays are my favorite days because they are only a day further from the weekend than Fridays but there are rarely tests and it’s still a normal day but with so much weekend excitement. and this Thursday just happened to be extra special because I was giving my senior project presentation and I had my last big test the day before. and he remembered all of this. and he went and cut a rose for me. because it was a Thursday.
I live really close to a couple different schools and sometimes I see kids walking each other home. I always think it’s so cute even though they probably just live near each other and it’s convenient and safer for the both of them. But, I choose to believe that they will one day fall in love.
and then I wonder why no one ever walked me home. I literally lived around the corner from the school. It would take 6 minutes to walk me home and get back to the school.
screw you guys.