Does it mean anything that this is the only word I could think of?

Dear world,
Sorry if I’m emotionless today. If I have too much of any emotion today, I get the worst cramp.
Blegh.
Periods suck to say the least.
Love, Terra

Tonight sucks because

My shit teeth are coming in so i have the worst headache from that and my jaw hurts like a bitch. 

I’m on my period so i have and even worse headache from that and I’m super sensitive right now. 

My last class didn’t get out until 730 and when I got home I was so excited to eat. I opened the fridge and saw this orzo noodle stuff that my mom gets from nugget for me but wtf was this? It had like squash and shit in it and she told me I could eat around it. But literally everything other than the noodles was some kind of vegetable that I don’t like and these noodles had basically been marinating in them for the whole day. So I took a bite and immediately wanted to throw up so I went to spit it out and my mom got mad at me because apparently she had just emptied the trash and didn’t want the smell of my “spit up” in there. 

Needless to say, I had a white cheddar rice cake for dinner. 

The worst part is that today was actually a really good day until about an hour ago. 

So. I was talking to Aly today and she had mentioned Ramses. So I asked her if she still talked to him and she said she didn’t really believe what Kayla had said because she couldn’t see Ramses doing that but she had said apparently Ramses told her that I hate him now. Here is my biggest problem with this, Ramses has not sent me a text, called, or even snapchatted me since I heard about this whole thing. I have been waiting for him to, so I know for a fact that he hasn’t. So I have no idea where he got the idea that I hate him. A big part of me being mad at him has to do with the fact that he never tried to explain himself to me. Kayla had told me about everything last because she knew how close Ramses and I were but for that to never cross Ramses’s mind just rubs me the wrong way. Like, he should’ve known that she would tell me and he should’ve cared enough about our friendship to try to explain himself. I did nothing wrong, so I’m not going to go out of my way to keep him as a friend, but you would think he’d try at least a little to reach out to his friends about it and see who was still on his side.

For girls (and guys) everywhere, I have to say this. But first, if you didn’t do it, then I’m sorry. If you did, I am not sorry about anything. 

Let me begin by saying that if you didn’t actually rape her but only touched her, or talked sexually to her, or did anything to try to turn her, or yourself, on, then fuck you, you are a terrible human being and I truly hope that you know the kind of shit that you have turned her life into. I don’t wish bad things to come to people, but I hope you live a long, terrible life until you truly feel sorry for what you have done and do whatever you can to make it up to her. Just know, that you will never make it up to her because what you did has already been done and it will take a long time for you to truly understand what that is and feel sorry for it and until that point, her hatred towards you will grow deeper everyday. 

I’d like to think that I would then go into a very deep statement about how rape is so bad but I can’t think of it at this moment but know that it is on my page somewhere so if you want to read it, feel free but for now, just know this:

DON’T FUCKING RAPE PEOPLE. 

Don’t do anything that someone doesn’t want you to. 

If there is no consent from the other person, then STOP

sometimes i like playing music

other times i like to just sit here and listen to cute slow love songs

and sometimes i just sit in the corner and cry over everything.

The biggest problem with the debate of legalizing marijuana - in my opinion

Most people that are either on the fence about whether marijuana should be legalized or just flat out don’t want it legalized, don’t smoke marijuana and probably won’t start any time soon. (I’m making the assumption that the majority of those who do smoke marijuana are for having it legalized)

So the problem, I think, is that most of the reasoning behind why it should be legalized has to do with smoking marijuana.

"Unlike heavy tobacco smokers, heavy marijuana smokers exhibit no obstruction of the lung’s small airway. That indicates that people will not develop emphysema from smoking marijuana." Okay? I don’t smoke marijuana, this has nothing to do with me. It’s great for people who do, but as for me, it’s not going to tip me in either direction. 

When people talk about how marijuana brings people together, that actually makes me want it legalized less since I’m a non-smoker. I feel like all of my friends will begin smoking together and, in knowing that I don’t smoke, will leave me out. I feel as though it will eventually cause me to lose a lot of friends. Granted, these are friends that I probably shouldn’t have been friends with in the first place since they are going to leave me just because I don’t smoke, but it might also stop me from making new friends when they realize I don’t smoke.

Apparently marijuana doesn’t kill brain cells. Great. Great for people who smoke marijuana, but I don’t. 

Of course, a lot of these ideas can be put towards secondhand smoke. But for me, I’m not worried about secondhand smoke when it comes to marijuana actually doing anything harmful to me. But, it smells absolutely terrible and I would definitely be against legalizing it because that would mean more people smoking and more places I go would end up smelling absolutely terrible to me. 

But, let’s talk about the pros that should be talked about. Hemp. Jails. The Economy. Stop telling me all of the reasons marijuana isn’t so bad to smoke and tell me how many things can be manufactured as hemp products and all of the great things about that. Tell me how if marijuana is legalized, police can stop taking people to jail for it and the jails will no longer be as overcrowded. 

Tell me things that actually have to do with me: someone who doesn’t smoke marijuana. 

placatory:

When your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

image

I was with my brother and cousins at iHop after backpacking this past weekend and we had probably only ordered 2 minutes before I saw our waitress walking out of the kitchen with a tray full of food. I knew it was ours even though nothing we had ordered was on that tray. I was so hungry and so sad when she set it down at a different table. 

(via date)

My birthday is a month away and idk what to do but I want to do something since it’s the first year eemelduhh will actually be here on my birthday in a few years.

BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 

Turning 20.

Ideas?